PenFall

A little more than a year ago I was spending a few months living at home in my parents basement. I was in between jobs and therefore had little spending money. I was also still lugging around a desktop computer that I had owned since freshman year of college. The war in Lebanon was in full heat, so my ideal was to sit on the couch, use my dads laptop, and watch the war unfold. Eventually my dad made me an offer: do some research for him and get paid with a new computer of my choice under $2,000. This may seem a little steep to some, but the research I was doing was no joke – it took me over a week of long, 8-10 hour days and I ended up with a 25 page chronology plus an even longer document of another more detailed chronology and analysis. He was only paying me what he would pay anyone else for such a job.

When I was finished I immediately began researching laptops. I had not yet been properly introduced to the world of Mac, so only looked for PC’s. I knew what I wanted – a laptop with superb graphics (for game playing), tons of space, great processor, and that’s about it. I knew I only wanted to do three things on it: write, use the internet, and play games. Mostly write. My brother recommended looking at Sony Vaio and when I checked them out I liked what I saw. I decided on the FE 690 and went through the page to add and delete features to my liking. I ordered the computer and I loved it – the graphics were great, it was fast – it was a little clunky, and big for a laptop, but it’s exactly what I wanted.

I began working at my current job and used my Vaio for the first few months. I was eventually needed PowerPoint but unfortunately the version of Office I had on my computer did not have PowerPoint. So I downloaded a Trial version of Microsoft Office Standard Edition (with PowerPoint). Once the trial ran out, the software deleted itself from my computer, but also decided to delete the version of Microsoft Office that had come with my computer.

I panicked.

I couldn’t open any of my documents – poetry, my long fiction and short stories, papers from college, my thesis, and so on. I didn’t have Word, Excel, or any other feature. I knew these documents weren’t lost, but that I couldn’t access them at anytime made me nervous.

I ran to someone on the tech team for help. He downloaded Open Office for me as a temporary solution. I then got on the phone with Sony Vaio to find a permanent solution.

I’ve dealt with my fair share of customer service lines. Amtrak, absolutely every airline, hotel chain, credit card companies, FedEx, TMobile, Verizon, Cingular, Blackberry support, Amazon (by far the best customer service I’ve encountered) – the list could go on for pages. Really.

To put my experience with Sony Vaio support in perspective – I lost Microsoft Office in October. I first called Vaio support about the problem in October. It is now August. I still don’t have Microsoft Office on my computer.

Of all the customer service lines I have spent hours on, Vaio is the absolute worst. At first glance they appear to be responsible, thorough, and polite, but it’s all for show. When I called in October I spent an hour on hold before ever talking to an actual customer service agent (“due to high call volume…”) and spent another half an hour being transferred from one agent to the next. It was the same question each time: “I don’t understand ma’am — you got the computer with a trial version on it and now you want a full version? Because we just don’t give full versions for free,” or “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t sell Microsoft products.”

I’m usually a pretty patient person. I’ve worked at a video store, at IHOP, at La Madeleine. I have been one of those people on the phone dealing with customer complaints. I have worked a register and taken ridiculous orders for bacon, “not too crispy, but not rubbery. You know, right in between the soft-ish kind of nice fattiness, but not too fatty I still want it crispy. But not too crispy!” Okay, so how do I put that into a computer? Should I punch the “crispy” button three times? Or four? And where is the “not too crispy” button?

I know what it is like, so I have the utmost respect for customer service agents who keep their cool when someone is being an asshole. Unfortunately, despite hating those “annoying customers” when I had to deal with them, I tend to lose my patience very quickly as a customer.

It was April before I decided to call Sony again. It was recommended I do a factory restore. I did the restore but still no Microsoft Office. I called back. Unfortunately they had no record of any previous conversations with their support team (funny, since I had a number ID to track that conversation), so I had to start over. Tell the story all over again plus relive my previous conversations with customer service. “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t sell Microsoft products.”

“Holy cow. I know that. Okay? Look, this computer came with the software factory installed but no disk. I am still under warranty, so I would like you all to fix the problem.”

“I understand ma’am, but we just don’t sell Microsoft products.”

“I’m not asking to buy this product. I’m telling you to give me this product. I already bought the software; I am not buying it again. Just find someone else there for me to talk to. Your supervisor, for instance.”

“Okay I’ll get my supervisor.”

Hold.

“Ma’am, my supervisor tells me that we don’t sell Microso–“

I lose it.

“I didn’t ask you to talk to your supervisor! I asked you if I could talk to your supervisor! Please put him or her on the phone, now.”

“Yes ma’am, please hold.”

I feel like throwing my head through a brick wall. I feel like screaming, stomping, hanging up the phone but I’ve already invested too much time, too much energy. If I don’t hang up I’ll only get angrier. But I can’t hang up.

I talk to a supervisor. I explain the problem again. I am transferred, reassured that my business is valued. I am transferred again. Hold. Transfer. Hold. Transfer.

“Ma’am you need to talk to SonyStyle support. This is product support. I’ll transfer you.”

Hold.

“Ma’am this is SonyStyle support. You need product support.”

I give up. I hang up. My warranty lasts through July, so I can wait just a little bit longer.

I call back a few weeks ago, during the third week of July just before my departure for Wyoming. This time, I am not so nice. I curse, I scream. I apologize. “I know this isn’t your fault, that you’re just sitting in a windowless room getting paid shit to deal with shitty people, and I’m sorry. But don’t you agree that this is just fucking ridiculous??”

The last I heard from Sony before my trip out to Wyoming was that they would call me in 3-5 business days to verify my information, and then send me a disk for Microsoft Office. They never called. Today, I had to call customer service again. Re-read this blog post to understand what the call was like.

And what was the final word after spending three hours on customer service again? Well, there’s no record of any previous conversations with Sony Vaio support, so they will call me in 3-5 business days to verify my information and send me a disk.

Those assholes.

So congratulations Sony, you win. After I get my Microsoft Office disk (and I will get it), and after I use my laptop to its very last, I will never ever buy another Vaio product ever again. Ever.